I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
