Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
