if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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