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I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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