I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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