I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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