Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
