question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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