I can tuck mytits in my pants
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
