dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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