Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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