It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
