New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
