Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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