Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
