somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Pappa wants mamma naked
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
