Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
