i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
