I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
