I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
