It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
