life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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