we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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