Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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