She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
organizing the empties. That sober.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
