For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
