And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
