so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
