I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
love makes seman taste better
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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