why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
