I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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