the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
