If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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