i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you inspire me to be a worse person
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
