I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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