Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
