I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
