How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
either way he was missing a nipple.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
