But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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