dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
