I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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