Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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