Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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