My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
