College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
