i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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