it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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