Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
