remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She's the barista slut.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
