You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
