I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
