ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
