i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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